On Jan. 20, at 9:21 p.m., a man in the 900 block of Caledonia Avenue called and reported a dude he knows named Sam just robbed and assaulted him. A car was sent to check out what really was going on between this dude and Sam.

Columbus 

Jeremie was arguing with two women when some dude shot him:

On Jan.29, at 3:38 p.m., a unit responded to the corner of South 22nd Street and Deshier Avenue, where a dude name Jeremie had been involved in a big hubbub with two women. Some guy just came from around the side of the house and shot Mr. J. “J” was taken to a near by hospital and is in stable condition. Supposedly didn’t nobody hear or see anything. Huuuum!

2 rascals shot in big shoot-out over at Salem’s Exclusive Lounge:

On Jan.24, at 1:30, in the morning, a caller at Salem’s joint over on Hamilton Road reported a shoot out and that several dudes in a grey car had been hit. Witness said the dudes in the car took off after the gun play but they believe a couple of the occupants got hit. Minutes later, the cops located two guys, Keith and Marshawn at Grant Hospital, both with gun shot wounds and all cut up. Again, don’t nobody know nothing?

Terry, Donsha and Muna all shot at the Dream Lounge, but don’t know nothing:

What’s up with all this don’t tell on nobody? On Jan. 25, around 2 in the morning, the police were called to the Dream Night Club in the 3200 block of Allegheny Avenue where a man, Terrance age 26, another male, Donsha, 22, and a woman name Muna, 23 had all been shot.  But, again there was “hear no evil, speak no evil, and see on evil.”

All three were transported to a local hospital and is in stable condition. “Oh my gosh... Again!!!”

Wayne hit car, kept going, they caught up; he shot two dudes and a by- stander:

On Jan.12, at 6:26 p.m., it was a reported that a hit-skip occurred at Courtright and Refugee Road.  The driver, a dude name Wayne, kept going but was chased by two fellas, Donato and Terrance. When they caught up with him, Wayne opened fire wounding, Donato and Terrance and an innocent by-stander name Chris Fenimore. Believe it or not, this fool took off and went home. Later, the cops busted his butt at his house. Whoooo Wee, what in the world is going on in C-Town?

Deli store owner on Tamarack Circle, shot by robber:

On Jan. 27, at 10:06 p.m., a lone gunman entered a Deli Market on Tamarack Circle North and fired one shot, hitting the store owner, who was taken to a near by hospital.  The only thing police know is that dude is about 5’7 or 5’9.   You can bet the cops are seriously looking for his behind and, if you know who did it, please call Crime Stopper at (614) 645- 8477

Cleveland Heights 

Ya’ll come get this lil damn Chihuahua running round loose like he crazy:

On Jan.21, at 11:17 a.m., a resident in the 3200 block of Silsby Road, called and reported a Chihuahua running lose in the area. Several folk tried to catch it but the dog is scared too death and running like a bat ‘out auh hell.’   Ya’ll send somebody to help catch it.

Some folks believe, they just seen a coyote near Monticello and Lee:

On Jan. 21, at 1:17 p.m., the police received several calls from residents and motorist who believe they saw a coyote running down the street near Monticello and Lee Road.  The next day, the TV stations reported that a coyote got stuck and was trapped in a fence at the Lake View Cemetery. The wild life people said there are a number of them in the graveyard.

Customer thinks they got pick-pocked in Zagara’s Food Market:

On Jan. 21, at about 4:45 p.m., a customer shopping at the Zagara’s Food Store on Lee Road called and reported that they were missing their wallet and some crook may have pick-pocked them in the store. Cops checked the area, nothing!

Burglar breaks in while folk’s at home and the police nabbed him:

On Jan.21, at 9:46 p.m., some folks who live in the 3300 block of Monticello Boulevard, called and reported that a man broke into their house and he is still in there. The cops rushed out and caught a dope head named Shelby in the act and hauled his behind off to jail. No betta fo the crazy thug!

I can’t believe this fool keep banging on the door:

At 10:15 p.m., on Jan. 21, some folks in an apartment in the 2600 block of Euclid Heights Boulevard called and reported that some fool keep coming back and banging on the lobby door trying to get somebody to let him in. Ya’ll come get this dummy?

Some A-hole is driving cross my front lawn:

On Jan. 21, about 10:38 p.m., an angry home owner in the 3600 block of Bainbridge Road called and reported that some A-hole is in my yard and driving across my front lawn. A car was sent but the ornery butt- hole driver was GOA.

A dude name Marcus is busted in the Shell gas station with a bag of weed in his car:

On Jan. 21, around midnight, a cop followed a dude name Marcus into the Shell gas station on Taylor Road and pulled up behind him.  When the cop went to check Marc out, surprise! Auh big bag of weed was in the car. Well, we don’t need go to any further with this story… busted!

Bobby and his step-daddy done got into it again:

On Jan. 20, at 8:30 a.m., a call was received from a frantic family in the 900 block of Caledonia Avenue because a dude named Bobby and his step-daddy done got into it again. A car was sent out to calm down these two hot heads.  Don’t look like Bobby got any respect for his momma’s man!

Ya’ll come stop this dude from stressing folks out about some spare change:

On Jan.20, at 10:18 a.m., a fed up person at the bus stop called and reported that there was a dude at the corner of Mayfield and Lee Road, stressing folks out about their spare change. O’ boy wore a dark jacket and some dark blue pants. Would somebody please come tell this chump, ain’t no such thing as “spare change”

A woman’s daughter’s boyfriend just kicked in her front door on Kildare:

On Jan.20, at 3:40 p.m., an upset momma who lives in the 3200 block of Kildare Road called and reported that her daughter’s boyfriend just kicked in the front door. A car was sent out to chastise this brazing bold sucka.  Upon arrival, Mr. Big Foot was GOA.

An alarm company reported somebody walking round in Paul’s house:

On Jan.20, around 7:36 p.m., a call was received from an alarm company, reporting that the motion detector in a man name Paul’s house on Woodview Road had picked up somebody moving around in the living room and ain’t nobody supposed to be there.

A car was sent to check out Paul’s place.

Help! Help! A man is fighting a woman in the hallway:

On Jan. 20, at10:21 p.m., some disturbed residents in an apartment building called and reported some chump for whipping a woman up and down the hallway. When the cops arrived, the couple was still fight and the police arrested both of them.  A man named Antonio and his woman, Ashleigh, were both charged with domestic violence and disorderly conduct then hauled off to jail.

A man called and said a dude name Sam robbed and assaulted him:

On Jan. 20, at 9:21 p.m., a man in the 900 block of Caledonia Avenue called and reported a dude he knows named Sam just robbed and assaulted him. A car was sent to check out what really was going on between this dude and Sam.

I wonder what’s that all about?