Around 10:41 a.m., on July 27, a very distraught woman named Thelma who lives in the 2100 block of West 81^st Street, called and asked that a unit be sent out to her house to take a theft report because somebody had stolen some of her belongings.

Criminal of the week:

CLEVELAND, OHIO

Burglars are in a hot mess with cops chasing in hot pursuit: On July 27, at 10:23 a.m., a resident nearAbell Avenue, spotted two burglars in the back yard of a yellow and brown house a few doors down trying to break in. The alert neighbor immediately called the cops and told them what the two hooligans were doing. She said that folk’s live there, but they were not at home, repeating “I can still see those buzzards.”  She said that one of the rascals had on grey pants and no shirt and they are busy trying to force the door open.  Within 3 minutes the cops arrived and the crooks knew they were in a hot mess and took off running with the cops in hot pursuit.  Gotchu!

Akron Ohio

Ol’ geezer 70, charged for assault with a power washer!: On July 27, it was reported that 70-year-old Edwin Heatherly, who lives on Oakland Avenue,  got mad and sprayed another fella in the face with a high powered power washer which is used for cleaning concrete driveways, aluminum siding and other tough dirty stuff with hard to remove stains. The cop arrested him and threw his old mean behind in jail and charged him with Felonious Assault.  Now let him spray that!

A sho nuff hater broke in a house and poured bleach on everything: On July 26, it was reported by a person who lives in a house in the 100 block of Marvin Avenue, that some low down dirty rascal broke in the front room window and stole $2,100, a laptop, a cell phone, took the whole jewelry box and some other stuff.

As if this wasn’t enough, the rotten bastard poured bleach all over the folk’s cloths, the sofa, and other fabric covered furniture in the house. To me this sounds like somebody that was truly scorned or a hater that just wanted to get even. A low down dog!  Ya’ll hurry up and catch this one.

Jordon busted for slapping his pregnant baby’s momma: Now maybe this fool will now keep his hands too himself! On July 26, it was reported that 21-year- old big bully Jordon Lott who lives on Romig Road, was arrested for not being able to keep his hands off other people. They say that “J” and his baby’s momma, who is seven months pregnant, got into a heated argument and dude got mad and became physical by slapping her in the mouth. This chump should know that it is ok for a woman to say a lil extra when she is pregnant!

Why in the hell would they steal my Superman movie and $23?

On July 24, it was reported by a very pissed off  person who lives in the 200 block of Grand Avenue, that some low down dog had broken in their house through the side window  and stole their Xbox, a touch screen TV, their last lil  $ 23 and a Superman movie. Would ya’ll please catch this crack head and get my movie back, because I know he done brought himself a twenty (rock) with my $23.00. Sucka!

Oh Snap! Big bad Mike done punched the police in the face: Oooowee! On July 27, it was reported that an 18-year-old Michael Smith, who lives onBelvidere Way, got himself into a pickled mess. The cop said when he stopped and questioned Mike; he refused to give up any personal information and then they got into a squabble and Michael punched him in the face.  Of course back-up was called and Mike and the cops fought in the middle of the street. Right, wrong or indifferent, we have to keep telling our young Black men that this is not the way to handle a situation by trying to duke it out with the police. This is why we have lawyers, and they just can’t win with this kind of response. Everyone loses, especially them.

This is scary! A punk broke into a family’s house while they slept: This is how burglars get hurt! On July 26, between midnight and 2:30 in the morning a crook had the nerve to break into some folk’s house through a sliding back door while they were sleeping. The report said that this bold thug took $20 in cash, a 46’ inch TV, a laptop, other stuff and then stole the family’s 2005 Chevy Equinox. They forgot our story last week when the naked woman got out of her shower and stabbed the intruder.  Bold thugs like this used to be charged with breaking into a house during the night season.  

Tela and Ashley forced their way into a house and robbed the people: What in the hell were these two heffas’ thinking? On July 26, it was reported that a resident who live on Kimlyn Circle, had three bold bandits force their way  into their home, rob them, then beat them up and whipped up another person who was there just visiting. Later the three bold rats were caught and identified as 24-year-old Tela Long, Ashley Lee, age 26 and an idiot named Carlton Hale, who just went along with this stupid venture to see what he could get. We know this dummy gon’ get some time. All three are charged with aggravated burglary. See ya’ll!

Columbus Ohio

Dewayne must to be crazy trying to shoot it out with the police: Still under investigation:Back on March 4, of 2011, police received a call reporting that there was a man at South High and Dering Road with a gun. Upon arrival they talked to a lady who said Dewayne T. Smith was threatening her and had a gun. They gave chase and during the chase “D” decided to shoot at them as he was running away. One shot hit an officer’s belt buckle and the officers returned the fire striking “D” twice and he was then taken into custody.  Mr. D was charged with Felonious Assault on a Police Officer.  See Yuh!

Stores done gon’ stone crazy selling “Spice & Bath Salt”: July 25, at around11 a.m., the the Drug Task Force issued search warrants and raided more than 16 different  retail establishments  that were selling “Spice” and /or “Bath Salt” products. The cops said that two of these stores in spite of getting busted went right back selling.  Six more warrants were issued by DEA the next day for raids. This is some new sh--t and it is driving folk’s stone crazy when they get high on it. In many cases the users will get “buck naked” for some reason and head straight out onto the street. This stuff is equivalent or far worst that a nut smoking “Wet.” Leave this stuff alone!

Some clown shot Willie at the King of Clubs’ joint: Around 1:50 a.m., a call came from the King of Clubs Bar over on East 161st. Street, reporting that some clown shot William Almon. Witnesses said that the shots were fired from a tan colored van that drove into the parking lot and just opened fire on po’ Willie as he was walking out of the club. Willie ran down the street and made it to aWhiteCastle, which is where he was picked up and taken to a near by hospital with two gunshot wounds.  He is expected to survive, but if you know something, say something by calling (614) 645-6132 

Thug ordered pancakes and a Coke, and then robbed the Waffle House: You know this sucka is stone nuts to place an order than rob the joint. On July 23, around 12:21 a.m., a chump walked into the Waffle House onWestbelt Drive, sat down near the cash register, placed his order for a coke and stuff. He than quietly slipped the waitress a note demanding that she give him the loot in the register. She complied, and the punk got up and ran like a bat of hell straight out the front door. Surveillance caught the whole thing on tape and the cops are looking for his butt. If you know about this, tell who he is and get paid.

The crooks took the store clerk’s pistol and then whipped his A--!

If you are a store owner and the thugs get the drop on you, give them the damn money and let them get the hell out of there so nobody gets killed. Around 9:25 p.m., on June 19, two thugs walked into the Quick Stop store onCleveland  Avenue, and waited for the other customers to leave. They then told the clerk, “it is a stick up,” and the clerk bent down as if to get some money and pulled his pistol. The thugs took his pistol and then whipped his “A--.”   A second clerk tried to intervene and help out, so they also kicked his behind too. A lil’ money ain’t worth getting killed for, give them the dog gon’ dough.

Thuggish boy, 17, is charged with robbery and attempted murder: Its’ a damn shame but, we got to keep telling our young boys that jail ain’t no joke.On July 26, at 12:19 a.m., police responded to a shooting in the 1000 block of Olmstead Avenue, where a 19-year-old and a boy, 16, had been shot. The police established that the shooting stemmed from a robbery by another 17-year-old boy. Both victims identified the shooter who SWAT officers arrested later. This kid is facing some serious charges.

Cleveland Ohio

The upstairs tenants on Union are hassling the folk’s downstairs:

On July 22, at 10:19 a.m., a angry downstairs tenant who lives in a house in the 13300 block of Union Avenue, called complaining  and requesting that, “Ya’ll betta get somebody out here quick before thangs really get out of hand, cause these sucka’s are acting like they crazy and the disturbance is gone gettin worse.” A car was sent over to calm these stewing pots down.

Go catch that fool on Ridge Rd. driving like he lost his mind: On July 27, at 10:06 a.m., the Brooklyn Police Department and several others called in reporting that there was some fool in a blue Honda driving erratically east onRidge Road. He’s speeding like he has lost his ever loving mind. Several cars were dispatched to that area to see if they could stop this idiot.

A social worker on 81^st and Quincy needs police assistance: On July 27, at 10:40 a.m., a frantic social worker called police and told them that she needed their assistance in getting into the home in the 8100 block ofQuincy Avenue, in order to retrieve some kids that she was going to take. A couple of cars were sent over to help Ms.Worker get into the home and avoid trouble.

Some crack heads broke in a house and water is everywhere: On July 27, around 10:26 a.m., a cruiser was flagged down a it was reported that some crack head had just broken into a house and stolen all the copper plumbing and that water was running everywhere. The officer told the dispatcher to call the Water Department to come out and turn it off and to also tell the crew to come out and board it up.

Woman says she just stabbed a dude who triedto breakin her house: Around 10:32 a.m., a woman flagged down a patrol car and told the officers that she had just stabbed some bastard who had tried to break into her house. The lady said wherever he is; he’s bleeding like a gutted hog. The officers asked the dispatcher to call around and tell the various hospitals in the area to be on the lookout for this wounded rascal who is also limping and bleeding profusely.

A woman named Thelma on West 81^st wants to file a theft report: Around 10:41 a.m., on July 27, a very distraught woman named Thelma who lives in the 2100 block of West 81^st Street, called and asked that a unit be sent out to her house to take a theft report because somebody had stolen some of her belongings.  A car was sent out to get Ms. T’s report.