This week's Police Blotter

Criminal of the week:

Akron, OHIO

These three were so hungry, they robbed pizza man, now they can get 3 free squares a day: Around 7:26 a.m., on Sept. 6, a frantic call come in from a pizza delivery man reporting that two dudes and a hard-looking woman had just robbed him. The poor pizza guy said that the trio had stuck him up at gunpoint as he was trying to make a delivery. Later the cops arrested, Derrick Williams, 21, Eugene Vasser, 20 and Miss Nichole Thompson, age 24. Now they can get three free squares a day from the state!

Akron

Scoundrel broke into Safeguard Properties. It doesn’t sound so safe: On Sept. 7, around 7:26 a.m., it was reported that some low down scoundrel kicked in the garage door of a vacant house located on Cora Avenue and looted the place. They said the crook took the air conditioning and other miscellaneous stuff.  Witnesses say it was a Black man about 40 or 50.  Shame on him, but it doesn’t sound like Safeguard is really safeguarding their own property.

Thieves make off with dude’s tattoo painting stuff: On Sept. 5, at 6 a.m., some tainted minded fool broke in a location over in the 1200 block ofVirginia Avenue and made off with a bunch of stuff, including a 24’ inch flatscreen TV, a laptop and various kinds of tattoo equipment. C’mon ya’ll… Let’s get ol’ boy his stuff back!

Ralphel Penn robbed First Merit over on Brittain Road: Raphy, quit fienin’ and go turn yo’ self in. They know who you are and where you live! On Sept. 7, at 7:30 a.m., it was reported that Ralphel Penn, 25, who lives onCox Drive, robbed the First Merit Bank over onBrittain Road. The thing is that the cops know everything about this idiot. They are just trying to catch up with him.

Folk’s at home when rotten rogue climbs through the kitchen window: On Sept. 6, around 12:30 p.m., a 19 year old fella was at home onDelia Avenue, sitting down playing a video game when he spotted this rotten rogue crawling through his kitchen window. Once in, the 19 year old confronted the rogue who pulled out a pistol. He grabbed the bastards arm to stop from being shot and the gun went off leaving a bullet in the living room wall. The butt hole than grabbed some money off a coffee table and ran out of the house. Cops are looking for this brazen buzzard.

Thugs made victim get on his knees at gun point and robbed him: On Sept.7 around 9:30 p.m., a 21 year old fella was walking over onSouth Highland Avenue when three chumps came up behind him, put a gun in his face, and told him to get down on his knees. The thugs took his cigarettes, keys, and wallet. The three clowns took off running towardWest Market Street.  No description of the three is available at this time. If you saw something, say something.

Cops arrested Reggie’s butt for hollering, cussin and swinging a bat at a man: I don’t know what the hell Regg was thinking out there; hollin, cussin and acting a fool. On Sept. 7, the cops were called to the front of a house onAllyn Street, about a 25 year old dude named Reginald Marsh who was threatening folk’s by swinging a baseball bat. When the cops showed up Brother Regg started walking up the street. He was caught and they also found a loaded pistol on him. He had an outstanding warrant. Regg, you gots to be crazy!    

Some sucka broke in and stole dude’s rims over on Allyn Street: What’s up with this case? On Sept.7, it was reported that some sucka had broken in a house in the 600 block ofAllyn Street and stole six shiny designer car rims. Hmmmm!  I wonder?

Ron’s thieving behind got arrested for stealing folk’s credit cards: On Sept. 6, at 7:26 a.m., 22-year-old Ronald Brown was arrested for aggravated burglary after breaking into some folk’s house, stealing a laptop and some credit cards.  This fool immediately used the cards at three stores inArlingtonPlaza and got caught. Dummy!  

Ha’ mercy! Verondia Moss got arrested again for Domestic Violence: This heffa has got to be crazy! This is the third time she’s been busted for fighting and just doesn’t get it.  On Sept. 6, it was reported that 39-year-old Verondia Moss got into another fight with her people. She was busted on 11-6-02 and again on 2-15-01. She just doesn’t believe she can go to jail.

Crackheads up to their same old tricks, stealing plumbing: On Sept. 2, around 12 p.m., some crackhead forced open a window and broke into a vacant house over onEast Voris Street. As usual, this nut stripped all the copper plumbing for scrap and small change. Cops are looking for this chump. If you know something, say something.    

Cleveland

Owner at Heidtman Scrap Yard caught some fool stealing: On Sept. 6, at 9:07 a.m., a very pissed-off owner of Heidtman Steel Company onHeidtman Parkway called and reported they caught somebody stealing scrap from their yard. Ya’ll come and get this nut! A car was sent out to see what was up.

Granny on Harvard wants her grown granddaughter to get the hell out: Around 9:12 a.m., on Sept. 6, a very upset grandmamma named Rosemarie over in the 16100 block ofHarvard Avenue called and requested that “Ya’ll send somebody out here quick and get my 21-year-old granddaughter the hell out of my house before I do something to her.”  A car was sent out to see if they could calm things down between granny and her baby-girl who seems to be is a pain in the butt.

Neighbors are getting ready to scrap like dogs about their dogs fighting:

If the master’s are crazy what do you expect the two dogs to be? On Sept.6, around 9:22 a.m., a call was received from another family over on Gully Avenue about two neighbors out front squabbling and getting ready to fight like dogs because the one neighbor’s big dog had jumped on the other’s lil’ dog. The rightful owner of the bigger dog was out of town. A car was sent out to try and settle this match.  

 Knucklehead in a purple shirt is walking around a vacant house trying to get in: On Sept.6, at 9:16 a.m., an alert resident called and reported that some scrubby looking dude in a purple shirt keeps walking around a vacant house on her street and is trying to figure out how to break in. Would ya’ll please come get this good-for-nothing sucka. A car was sent to try and trap this knucklehead.

A white 2002 Chrysler Sebring carjacked at Eddy Road and St. Clair: On Sept.6, around 9:11 a.m., there was an all points bulletin requesting all cars to be on the lookout for a white 2002 Chrysler Sebring that had been carjacked at gun point around 2:30 a.m. The crooks are two young Black dudes who are armed and dangerous. I know one of ya’ll saw something, say something.

A tall, skinny, light-skin dude is selling drugs on East 46thStreet: If a son-of-a gun can get up this early to go and stand around trying to sell drugs, he can take his a-- to work.  On Sept. 6, at 9:30 a.m., a furious resident who lives in the 3600 block of East 46th called and complained that there was some tall skinny, light-skin bastard, dressed in all blue out on their street selling drugs. Would ya’ll please come get this lazy, good fah nothing punk.

A raggedy green Jeep has been sitting on Parmelee for a month with keys in it: On Sept. 6, at 9:33 a.m., an aggravated resident in the 10100 block of Parmelee Avenue called to request police come out and get this big, raggedy, green Jeep that’s been sitting out in front of their house for a month with the damn keys in it. A car was sent out to investigate.

Two cars are illegally parked on West 98th Street: On Sept. 6, around 9:32 a.m., a fed up caller in the 1000 block ofWest 98th Street reported that they are sick and damn tired of cars being illegally parked on their street. A car was sent out to ticketed these butt holes for parking wrong.

Guess what? Looks like they found a white 2002 Chrysler Sebring on fire:

Some [stuff] is stranger that fiction or is it a so-called coincidence? On Sept. 6, at around 9:28 a.m., there was a report of a white Chrysler Sebring burning in a field in the 1000 block ofDuPont Avenue. I wonder if this is the one carjacked earlier. Hmmm! This is some bull.

Leslie is calling, saying her 17 year old child is threatening her: Around 9:26 a.m., on Sept. 6, a very disturbed momma on East 72ndStreet called and reported her 17 year old child for threatening her. Would ya’ll please come get this crazy brat. A car was sent out to help make this lil’ monster chill the hell out.