Back in the day folks used to stab each other with ice picks and cut with straight razors and looks like they done started that mess all over again

Criminal of the week:

CINCINATTI, OHIO

Cops looking for heavyset scrapping woman who bogarded Juanita’s car:

On October 23, around 8:18 a.m., a very pissed-off woman named Juanita who lives on Bowman Terrace, called and reported that she wanted to file an assault and theft report against a short heavyset, mean ol’ woman named Shalonda Watkins who had just smacked her around, took her car keys and drove off with her car. She said that Miss Big Stuff is wearing a pink cap, a pink shirt, some big black jeans and her hair is corn rolled. 

The dispatcher issued a bulletin for all officers to be on the look out for the pink loving suspect. Ooooowe! She sho should be easy to spot.

 

CINCINATTI OHIO

 

Hah Mercy! Somebody is in the United Methodist Church District Office: On Oct. 23, around 8:08 a.m., an alarm company called and reported that somebody had just went into the United Methodist Church District Office located at 4400 Reading Road, and don’t know the code to  disarm the system. Ya’ll hurry up and get over there quick and capture this could be heathen trespasser. A car was rushed to the scene.

Woman on Winneste Ave says her baby’s daddy isthere causing trouble: On Oct. 23, around 8:36 a.m., a highly pissed-off woman who lives in the 5700 block of Winneste Avenue, called and reported that her baby’s daddy is over at her house raising hell and acting a fool.  The dummy refuse to leave and won’t get out of her house.  He knows that he ain’t welcome there so why won’t he just get the hell out of her house. A car was sent over to help persuade Mr. Knucklehead to leave his baby’s momma’s house. Let him argue with that.

O’ roguish looking dude is hanging around trying to break in a house: At about 8:40 a.m., on Oct.23, an alert neighbor in a house in the 6700 block of Miami Avenue, called and reported that there was some roguish Hispanic looking dude hanging around outside a house a few doors down on their street acting suspicious and it looks like he is casing the joint in order to break in. Would ya’ll please come see what this roguish looking bastard is up to. A car was sent out to check out this suspicious looking clown and help Miss Lady ease her anxiety.

 

 

 

 

 

Come get this nasty mattress out the street that just fell off a truck: On Oct. 23, around 8:44 a.m., a resident on East Lawn Avenue, flagged down a patrol car and told the officer that some fool in a truck had just drove down the street and an old pee smelling, bed bug filled mattress fell of the back of his truck and he never looked back to see what happened and kept on going. Would ya’ll please get this nasty thang out the middle of our street, ‘cause we ain’t touching it. The dispatcher told the officer they would forward the nasty mattress matter to the proper department.

 

Some disrespectful sucka drove by and knocked dude off his bike: On Oct. 23, around 8:09 a.m., a man was riding his bike in the street nearLiberty andVine Street, when some ornery, disrespectful bastard drove by and knocked him right off of his bicycle and kept on going. Although dude wasn’t hurt he was mad as hell because the clown had busted up his bike. A report was taken and the bike rider was consoled because with no description of the car or driver there was nothing much that could be done. Poor thang!

Dude got beat up, called police, but won’t tell them who did it:What is this all about, is he crazy or what?  Why even call the police if you are not going to tell them who whipped yo’ behind if you know who did it. Something is up with this one, however, On Oct.23, around 8:23 a.m., a dude called the police and said that he had just been beat up and another dude carjacked his maroon 2000 Pontiac Firebird.  As the cops continued to question him about the incident Mr. Man became less and less cooperative, which lead them to believe that he knew the carjacker that did it? About 20 minutes later the car was found over on Reading Road abandoned. 

 

Low life thug tried to carjack a lady over on Reading Road:On Oct. 23, around 8:34 a.m., a call from a frantic lady in the 3100 block of Reading Road, reporting that some low-down trifling thug had just beat her up and tried to take her car. The victim gave the cops a description of this butt hole and an alert was sent out for all cars in the area to be on the lookout. Ladies, ya’ll look out for these sleazy bastards while driving alone, particularly in some of the high crime areas.  If you see something, say something.   Let’s stop standing there looking stupid watching someone in trouble and saying “It ain’t non ah my bizzness,” call 911.

 

Cleveland OHIO

 

Mickey and her momma are slugging it out in the middle of the street: On Oct 25, at about 8:82 p.m., there were several calls from neighbors of the 3500 of West 63^rd Street, all reporting that a woman name Mickey and her 40 year old momma was in the middle of the street slugging it out like two dudes. One caller told the cops that right now the momma has got on all green, but Mickey is punching and trying to rip all her cloths off. A car was rushed out to break up this slugfest between Mickey and he momma. Raise a child right and it can not depart from your teaching.

 Some thoughtless bastard parked right in front of my driveway: On Oct. 25, around 8:37 a.m., a very pissed-off resident  who lives in the 2000 block of West 26^th Street, called and reported that some disrespectful bastard had the nerve to park their car right in front of their driveway and the sucka’s car is blocking my driveway making is possible for me to get out. Unit was sent out to cool this situation down before it burst into flames.

 

Trouble! A lady calling 911 from the Shell Gas Station at Lee-Harvard: On Oct. 25, around 8:29 p.m., a lady called 911 from the Shell Gas Station at Lee and Harvard and said she is having trouble with some joker who is acting a fool and ya’ll please come out and make him get the hell out of here. A car was sent over to halt this very volatile and explosive situation.

Big ol’ bully is beating up a woman at the bus stop on 79^th and Kinsman: Somebody needs to tell this fool that October is National Bully Month and shame on him for bulling and fighting this poor lil lady. On Oct. 25, at about 8:35 p.m., a call came from a passerby who reported that there was a dude slamming and punching a woman at the bus stop on 79^th and Kinsman. A car was sent over to tell that dead beat this is a no-no and he’s got to be crazy fighting a woman right down the street from the 4^th  District Police Headquarters. 

Two dudes are fighting and one’s got a butcher knife: On Oct. 25, around 8:41 p.m., a frantic call came in from a concerned citizen about a fight between two dudes who are dueling it out in middle of the 3100 block, and one has got a butcher knife.  A car was sent over to check the fighting before somebody gets slaughtered.

Charles called and said he was just battered by his girlfriend: On Oct.25, around 8:42 p.m., a dude named Charles called from East 146 and Lake Shore Drive, and said that his girlfriend had just kicked his butt and he is mad a hell, and would you please send out a car to take his report. Charlie said the Miss. Strong is all dressed up and she is wearing a pair of red shoes and a red shirt.  Ya’ll hurry up and catch this heffa because she’s crazy.  His momma probably told him that he should never fight a girl. 

 

Gary is scared because a black Honda keeps driving by his house: On Oct. 25, at about 8:50 p.m., a dude name Gary who lives on Grantwood Avenue, called and reported that he is scared that some chumps are out to shot him because they keep riding past his house in a black Honda and trying to peep in his window. “G” also said that these thugs might be some dudes trying to retaliate on him because he was a witness in a shooting that took place the other day. Please would yall hurry up and get out here and see what’s up. A car was sent out to calm this poor dudes nerves before he has a breakdown. 

Columbus OHIO

 

Squabble in Oakland Bar leads to Eugene being shot in his behind: On Oct. 23, at about 8:42 p.m., there was a heated verbal altercation at the Oakland Park Bar onOakland Avenue, between an unidentified fella and 31-year-old Eugene Robar.  Gene told police that after him and the other dude had squabbled this chump pulled out a pistol and fired off several rounds with one striking Mr. “G” in the left side of his buttocks. Pissed-off ain’t the word, but I’m sureEugene is thankful that he hadn’t turned around at the instant dude was firing.Eugene was taken to a near by hospital where he was treated for his injury. If you know something, please say something and call (614) 645-4011

Suspect brought a pack of Newport 100s then he robbed the joint:

I have said that it is getting too dangerous to even have a job, although this maybe a superb excuse for some lazy bums who wouldn’t work in a pie factory, tasting pies.

Around 6:30 a.m., on Oct.18, a devious rascal walked into the United Dairy Farmers store located on East Hudson Street, ordered and paid for a pack of Newport100s cigarettes and paid for them, but while the clerk had the register drawer open, this punk pulled his pistol, stuck his hand in there and took the rest of the cash. Ya’ll know that this chump is dangerous if he has got this kind of nerve.  I know you know something, say something and get paid.

Whaaaat! Heres' another heathen done broke in the church and stole something: Back on Sept. 24, of this year, around 12:28 p.m., a neatly dressed crook walked into the interior office of a church in theVictorianVillage area.  This heathen went right into the office opened the draw and stole a large amount of money before running out the exit door. The thug was caught on video camera, and he is described as being very neatly dressed in a purple button-down shirt, a matching neck tie, khaki pants and a Carhartt jacket.  This punk was sharp, but guess what?  He gonna bust hell wide open.  Know let him steal something down there.

 

Wow! The nerve of this punk carjacking and robbing an 80 year old lady: This same sucka would want your blood if you stuck up his grandmamma. On Oct. 20, at about 9 a.m., a sweet lil’ old lady was putting her groceries in her car when some punk walked up and forced her into her own car at gun point. This chump had the nerve to make granny drive around looking for an ATM and took out some cash and give it to him. Although the low down thug didn’t hurt granny she was scared to death. Ya’ll please help catch this low down rascal whose own momma would be ashamed of him and if you know who he is tell on him, (614) 645-4665

Dude name Jeffery kicked the police in his testicles and ran: Around 8:44 p.m., on Oct. 16, an officer went to an apartment at The Cardinal Creek housing complex on Allegheny Avenue, to arrest a 32 year old dude, Jeffery Adams, on an outstanding warrant.  Jeff and the officer got into an argument and then a struggle took place which ended with Jeff kicking the officer in his privates (groin) send him crashing to the ground. While the cop was on the ground in pain Jeffery took off running. Watch out Jeff!

 

Sucka’s done gone crazy stabbing folks, three incidents in two days:

*On Oct. 16, at 1:56 a.m., the cops were called to a house in the 200 block ofStevens Avenue on a reported stabbing of a 50-year-old Jason Jones. Mr. J was taken to a near by hospital and treated.  He’ll be OK.

* Minutes later, that same morning around 2:13 a.m., the cops were called to another stabbing which took place on the front porch of house onSouth Champion Avenue, where 44 year old woman named Albertha Whiteside had been stabbed.  Her non-life threatening injuries were treated at a near by hospital.

* On Oct. 17, at around 3:46 a.m., a 23 year old dude named David Duff stabbed a 23 year old woman, Latiesha Swatte, several times in her right leg with a large knife. She too was taken to a near by hospital with non-life threatening injuries. 

Back in the day folks used to stab each other with ice picks and cut with straight razors and looks like they done started that mess all over again, but which is worse, the rash of shooting or the rash of stabbing.  They are equally as bad, they both can lead to murder.

Ya’ll stop this dumb stuff!